A week or so ago I suddenly started getting really tired, which I thought might have been a positive sign. But then over the weekend I started feeling cranky and had a little spotting, and I just generally got the feeling that my period wanted to come and we weren't successful. By this morning I had pretty much convinced myself that the result was going to be negative, but we went through the blood test process anyway.
A little after 2pm, I got the phone call. Unfortunately, my suspicions were correct. At least I hadn't built myself up so much that the result was a shock. I thought I took the news pretty well - I didn't even cry, which was a surprise.
I'm trying to stay as positive as I can. There are several positive things I can take away from the experience. As Mum pointed out, the process is no longer a mystery. My body responded really well to the meds I took before and after the IUI itself, and I produced two "beautiful" follicles and a good thick lining. I also feel like I know my body and my cycle better and have more confidence in that knowledge. And like Jo the Clinic nurse says, the odds on the first cycle are pretty low because they are still adjusting my treatment to suit my body. The odds go up the more cycles we do.
We decided to have a cycle off before we try again. Mostly for financial reasons, but also I'd like to give myself a break emotionally. There's no medical or technical reason why we can't just roll straight into another cycle, but I'd rather take some time to regroup before trying again.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their support. I've had so many messages from family members and friends both old and new. It really does mean a lot to know you guys are all looking out for us and sending us positive vibes. Thank you all so much.
(Okay, now I'm getting a bit teary.)
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